Most locals know these things, now it's world-wide
59 things that makes you a New Orleans Local
or
You know you are from New Orleans if....
1. You're out of town and you stop and ask someone
> where there's a drive-thru daiquiri place, and they look at
> you like you have three heads.
>
> 2. You drive your car up onto the neutral ground if it
> rains steadily and heavily for more than two hours.
>
> 3. You call the 'Median' the 'Neutral Ground'
>
> 4. You have flood insurance.
>
> 5. The four seasons of your year: crawfish, shrimp,
> crab and erster.
>
> 6. You greet people with, "Howzhyamomma'an'em?" and
> hear back, "Dey fine, darlin!"
>
> 7. Someone asks for an address by compass directions
> and you say it's Uptown, downtown, backatown,
> riverside or
> lakeside.
>
> 8. Your burial plot is six feet over rather
> than six feet under.
>
> 9. You know the Irish Channel is not Gaelic-language
> programming on cable.
>
> 10. You can pronounce Tchoupitoulas but can't spell it.
>
> 11. You don't worry when you see ships riding
> higher in the river than your house.
>
> 12. You have no idea what a turn signal is or
> how to properly use it.
>
> 13. You can cross two lanes of heavy traffic and
> U-turn though a neutral ground while avoiding two
> joggers and a
> streetcar, then fit into
> the oncoming traffic flow while never touching the
> brake.
>
> 14. You can consistently be the second or third person
> to run a red stop light.
>
> 15. You've been rear-ended 10 times by people with no
> insurance.
>
> 16. You get off the stoop, walk down the banquette and
> cross the neutral ground to go get a sno-ball.
>
> 17. You know better than to drink hurricanes or
> eat Lucky Dogs.
>
> 19. You consider a Bloody Mary a light
> > breakfast.
>
> 20. The major topics of conversation when you go out
> to eat are restaurant meals that you have had in the
> past and restaurant meals that you plan to have in the
> future.
>
> 21. You judge a po-boy by the number of napkins used.
>
> 22. The waitress at your local sandwich shop tells you
> a fried oyster po-boy dressed is healthier than a Caesar salad.
>
> 23. You know the definition of "dressed."
>
> 24. You can eat Popeye's, Haydel's and Zapp's for
> lunch and wash it down with a Barq's and several
> Abitas, without losing it all on your stoop.
>
> 25. You have gained 10 or 15 pounds permanently, but
> you don't care anymore.
>
> 26. You think "drinking water" when you look at the
> Mississippi River.
>
> 27. The smell of a crawfish boil turns you on
> more than Chanel #5.
>
> 28. You enjoy sucking heads more than sucking face.
>
> 29. Yor burl crawfish or fry them in erl, and
> pack the uneaten tails in furl. Then you wrench your
> hands in the zinc with an onion bar to get the
> crawfish smell off 'em.
>
> 30. There is a St. Joseph lucky bean in your mama's
> coin purse.
>
> 31. When you speak with a tourist, he asks, "Are you
> from Brooklyn?"
>
> 32. You're not afraid when someone wants to "ax" you.
>
> 33. You were born at Baptist, raised in Metry
> and hang with Vic and Nat'ly. *important note Metry
> is spelled Metairie
>
> 34. You go by ya mom-ne-ems on Good Friday for family
> supper.
>
> 35. You don't learn until high school that Mardi Gras
> is not a national holiday.
>
> 36. You push little old ladies out of the way to catch
> Mardi Gras throws.
>
> 37. You leave a parade with footprints on your hands.
>
> 38. You believe that purple, green and gold look good
> together--you will even eat things those colors.
>
> 39. Every time you hear sirens you think it's a Mardi
> Gras parade.
>
> 40. You go buy a new winter coat and throw your
> > arms up in the air to make sure it allows enough
> room to catch Mardi Gras beads.
>
> 41. You have a parade ladder in your shed.
>
> 42. Your finest china has Endymion written on it.
>
> 43. Your first sentence was, "Throw me somethin'
> mistah," and your first drink was from a go-cup.
>
> 44. You wonder what Anne Rice has against a building
> that looks like a Mardi Gras float.
>
> 45. You have a special set of grungy, well-broken-in
> shoes you refer to as your "French Quarter" shoes.
>
> 46. Every so often, you have waterfront property.
>
> 47. Your last name isn't pronounced the way it's
> spelled.
>
> 48. You believe Al and Anne are the Uptown version of
> Vic and Nat'ly.
>
> 48. You know what a nutria is but you still pick it to
> represent your baseball team.
>
> 49. You have spent a summer afternoon on the Lake
> Pontchartrain seawall catching blue crabs.
>
> 50. You watch a movie filmed in New Orleans and say
> things like, "Dere ain't no way they can run out of a
> cemetery right on to Bourbon Street."
>
> 51. Speaking of which, you haven't been to Bourbon
> Street in years.
>
> 52. You have to buy a new house because you ran out of
> wall space for Jazz Fest posters.
>
> 53. You drink Dixie, whistle Dixie and name
> > your dog Dixie.
>
> 54. You describe a color as K&B purple.
>
> 55. You like your rice and politics dirty.
>
> 56. You worry about deceased family members returning
> in spring floods.
>
> 57. You reply to anything and everything about life
> here with, "Only in New Orleans."
>
> 58. You have a monogrammed go-cup.
>
> 59. A friend gets in trouble for roaches in his car
> and you wonder if it was palmettos or those little
> ones that go after the French fries that fell under
> the seat.